A Few Forgotten Photos From February

March 17, 2015

First off, sorry if this gets a bit ramble-y. Some days are less well crafted than others, around here.

It's funny what things you decide to post and which ones you don't. 

I took this photo series on Valentine's Day with the intent of showing off the banner "craft" Jack made me. That banner was/is so special because he made it all by himself with very little help on my end. He wrote everything out without help. He helped cut the triangles of the pennant and glue down the hearts. He delicately helped me string it together, directing everything as it went. The best part? He let me keep it.

My heart swells with so much happiness whenever I see that thing. It was so special, I thought I'd try and share it, along with a little outfit post.

I picked out my favorite and only pair of red jeans. I wear them sparingly, but especially on Valentine's Day. They were snug for the first time ever. I threw on my favorite stripped shirt (remembering somewhere in the back of my mind that horrible snippet of advice that says "horizontal stripes make you look wide"), that I got on sale and accompanied it with a vest I begged for for Christmas. The vest barely zipped. I threw on my favorite black boots, worn in in all the right ways, only to realize they made me look stubby and short upon review.

After taking too many pictures and freezing whilst doing so, I opted out of posting them.

Why? Because, I didn't like the way I looked in any of them. I could see the outline of my thighs and the thickness of my upper body. I could see the way my hair kept flying away and the way my cheeks suddenly looked so round. I could spot the slight difference in my eyes, one being slightly larger than the over. I could see every flaw rolled into one and I detested it. 

Part of me said, "forget it, love your body for what it is" and the other part of me cringed and thought "how have I let it get this bad?" 

I'm still somewhere in between those two sentiments, but regardless of that, I thought I'd share some of these pictures anyways.

Today, I choose to love my body for what is and acknowledge the reality of who I am in these pictures. I am more than a pair of jeans that don't fit quite right and more than a bad hair day. I more than boots and material things. My worth is determined by so many more things.

Plus, why should I deprive the world of seeing this amazing banner Jack made me? It'd be a shame to withhold something I'm so proud of him for.

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