On Being Wounded & Working On It

January 29, 2013

For the past two weeks I've really been savoring a sentence, a goal if you will, of mine. In addition to this blog, I journal and write frequently in a word document and other pretty notebooks. It was during one of those "I'm down and out" journal-ing sessions that I wrote the following:

"One of my goals (which have become a priority now) is to learn not to be so wounded by other people's actions and to learn how to let things go. I need to quit taking every little disappointment to heart. I shouldn't allow people to have the power to ruin my day. I shouldn't allow other's actions or perceptions sour my own perceptions of myself. As I've stated before, it's so easy to feel worthless and negative when others make you feel that way or perceive you as such, made evident by their actions."

So, in addition to my other goals I've decided to add this goal. This wonderful goal that I didn't know I needed to work on until quite recently. I feel as if in that moment, I had a break through...an epiphany. I think this is one of those important things to realize and come to terms with and I hope in this next year I can continue to grow towards the manifestation of total confidence without validation by others. 

I'm the type of person who is a hard shell to break. I'm quiet and reserved if you first meet me. It takes something special for me to let someone in. There are only a handful of people I hold close to me and once they're in I will deplete myself and my love in order to make them satisfied. I'm a giver and a lover to those that matter and so when I am disappointed by or not treated well by those I would so gladly sacrifice whole parts of myself for, I can't help but feel wounded. Am I alone in this? 

This goal is a good one, one I am working on continually and feeling good about. 

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