3 Songs // Journal DayMarch 02, 2014
This post takes inspiration from Danielle's Journal Day Series. This week she asked us to write a post about a certain song and the memories/time period it reminded you of. I did an exercise about two years ago in my personal journal where I decided to put my iPod on shuffle and just write down any immediate feelings that came to me with whatever song popped up. I did this for about twenty songs there, but for this I think I'll narrow it down to 5 and maybe write a bit more in depth about each (also, I simply couldn't just choose one song could I?).
Elecrtric Feel by MGMT
This song fills me up with a sense of nostalgia and it always sort of has. When it was brand new it was severely overplayed on Sirius Alternative and I'd lay in bed and simultaneously love and deeply hate this song. I couldn't decide if I liked the electronic, almost 70's vibe and what the hell were those lyrics even about anyways? Months went by and it kind of dissipated off of my radar without notice until I came home for my high school's homecoming football game freshman year of college. It was fall break and I was just starting to adjust to a life outside of my hometown. Part of me was miserable, strained and homesick for familiarity at college, while the other part of college-me was dazzled with the new experiences and new found sense of status I felt I possessed since I had joined a sorority and was starting to finally break the mold of the quiet girl I had been high school. It was a weird time. I was yearning for anything, past or present to settle the world around me and make sense of what was happening. I met up with a group of high school friends I had spent all summer running around with until the wee hours of the morning. We had had bonfires every weekend and there was this sense of chaotic freedom we all possessed. We were all going places and were going to accomplish something amazing...it all felt wildly possible and inevitable. We went off to college and this football homecoming was our first time back to town. Here we were in our old familiar haunts and we had never felt more like strangers. A year ago we would've fit in, but now everything felt so different and off. We decided to ditch the game and go drink around a bonfire in a location I couldn't take you to even to this day simply because it was just so far out there. I got a ride with a guy my friend Jenny had dated (he was in our friend circle as well) and who I thought I might feel a nibble of attraction towards at the time (that ended up being disastrously misguided, but that's another story for another time). I just remember that it was the two of us in his car and as we started riding to the middle of nowhere and this song came on. He turned it up and asked me if I'd heard this song before. He told me how much he liked it, but wasn't quite sure why. I related so much to that feeling and as cliched as this is going to come off, I feel like I finally opened up my ears and started listening to the lyrics and making sense of them more than I had before. This weird feeling kind of came over me and I felt a small sense of stillness as I watched the dirt path and the overly tall grass pass out of the passenger's window. I was so mixed up about how I felt towards everything and everyone that semester and that night ended up not turning out well either, but there was just this small moment where it all felt okay and survivable because I subtly knew now that everyone was struggling like I was. Now, whenever I hear that song, I think about it being October and that small transitory moment.
Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie
I first happened upon this song whenever I was going through my first "break-up." It was the 9th grade and I had never had a boyfriend. I had never been kissed before. I was starting to seriously freak-out. I was freshly 15 and not having accomplished either of those was a point of frustration and mild embarrassment (if only I could go back and tell my fifteen year old self to get a grip and quit worrying about such inconsequential nonsense). Let's just say that this two week courtship ended after a horrible first kiss (possible the worst first kiss ever) and in front of a table of all of my friends at lunch time. I was mortified and humiliated and disappointed. I had never had my emotions fooled with so blatantly and I felt ridiculous and stupid. I was sitting in my room that night (or maybe it was like a week later - either way the pain was still fresh) and had my iPod on shuffle. At that time my best friend and I had synced our iPods to have all of the same songs...yes, the exact same iTunes library. Haha. I didn't know half of what was on there, but just went with it. This song came on and I remember crying. Have you ever just had just the right song come on, at just the right time? It's rare, but this totally happened for me and Soul Meets Body. I know this song isn't really a sad song or a song that could be straightforwardly break-up related, but this song kind of lifted me up. I wanted to feel like this song - sunny. I wanted to send my horrible, sad thoughts to "a far off destination" and I wanted to move on and "let the sun wrap it's arms around me." I wanted to enter into this place of where "soul meets body" and move on to better, brighter days. So I did. I wrote a kickass poem entitled 13 hours, vented for another week to friends, and moved on. That is until about a year late I discovered that he had spread a rumor about me being a bad kisser. Sigh. That was whole other ordeal. Also, fast forward to three months ago when I went out on a date with the same guy again and then quickly pulled away when he tried to kiss me due to previous emotional scarring. AWKWARD. It didn't happen for us in the ninth grade and after that I'm certain it's not meant to happen now. Haha.
Rose Captain by Sea Wolf
Since, the other two songs have required sort of lengthy blurbs, I'll keep this short and simple. It reminds me of long bus rides during Softball season and of me wanting to hole up and just be done. It reminds me of being quiet and when I told my best friend at the time Callie that she had to listen to it and she finally did (after much prodding), she said, in her most honest and profound voice that it was "beautiful" and even though I'd never directly thought of it like that, it suddenly was in my eyes too. So that's how I like to think of this song - beautiful.
Are there any songs that are tied to experiences are emotions for you? If so, what are some of those memories! Feel free to share with me!