It Never Gets Easier, You Just Get BetterOctober 27, 2015
I love the quote, "It never gets easier, you just get better" for many reasons, but one good one is because it's such a strong reminder to recognize and value personal growth. Life is mostly hard and it never does get easier, but you - you can and will get better.
This concept reminds me of paralyzing first days of school or maybe the uncertainty of driving around a new town because you just don't know the layout yet, how the parts connect to make a whole. It reminds me of undertaking the first steps of a project you're not quite sure how to start, of feeling that anxiety regarding "how in the hell am I going to make this happen?" Somehow, it almost always comes together though. That's because you learn the ropes and if you're anything like me you find yourself having to uncomfortably put yourself out there a lot in order to do so.
This year, though it seems dull in comparison to others, has been one of tremendous personal growth. I've been calling it "the freshman year of adulthood" and that name has really stuck. I've met so many new people (and yet, somehow, not enough people), conquered internships, graduating college, balancing two jobs at once, taking my first "adult" full time job, moving in with my boyfriend, attending conferences and meetups, and much more. This is not to brag, but just to reflect on all the big milestones that, when they were happening, seemed like small quick successions of things to do or get past in the moment.
Sure, I've spent too many late nights and early afternoons wrestling with self doubt and thinking about if I'm doing the right things and if I'm on the right path. It's easy to spend time questioning and judging yourself. For example: Is this the right job for me? Should I be painting more? I definitely should be designing more and writing more - why can't I start? Why don't I have the perfect apartment? When will I find the time to lose the annoying extra weight? The control freak in me has an expertly crafted, much recited three year plan. However, the dreamy overly romanticizing part of me has a glass that never is full and a heart that's restless. It's so easy to fret about what it means to be wanting more and doing more.
I heard recently that "wanting more" does mean that you necessarily lack anything and that has been a comforting notion to consider.
Mostly, I just wanted to take a second (okay, a few seconds) to tell you guys to keep fighting...fight through your daily struggles, the endless boredom, the lack of inspiration, the tough conversation, the scary notions of what it means to be on just one path, or conversely what it means to be on several. Don't be afraid of change. Take internal inventories every once in awhile. Do your best.
It never gets easier, babes, but you do get better.